I was in a coaching session with a lady when she said, “I feel like such a fraud. The company shouldn’t even be paying me this much. I’m not that good, and I’m afraid that they will soon find out.”
Do you sometimes hear that voice in your head that tells you that you’re not as good as people think you are? Do you sometimes feel like you don’t deserve a new job, a new business deal or some advancement in your career? Do you feel like an impostor?
“Who do you think you are?”
“You don’t deserve this promotion.”
“You’re not that good. You just got lucky.”
“Soon, everyone will know that you’re a fraud.”
Ladies, the Impostor Syndrome is real.
This term was developed by psychologists, and even though it affects everyone, women are a lot more prone to dealing with it.
Many of us deal with it in some form or the other; in spite of my excellent training, certifications and experience, I know I have asked myself several times: “Who gave you the right to be a Coach? What do you know? Who do you think you are?”
The syndrome is very dangerous to you as a person and especially in your career. You could keep sabotaging yourself and your work. You may not push for a new business because you think you’re not good enough. You may not negotiate for better working hours, or higher salaries or responsibilities at your job because you think you don’t deserve it.
And when it comes to changing your career, this feeling can keep you stuck because you won’t feel qualified to make the necessary change. It will give you a negative opinion of yourself and blur your vision for a better career.
If you struggle with this, here are a few ways to deal with it:
One: Reaffirm your competence. Don’t wait until you feel like an impostor. Tell yourself over and over again that you are competent and you deserve every good thing that comes to you. You can find an affirmation that works well for you and repeat it over and over in your mind and out loud.
Two: Walk your talk. If you know that you could genuinely do better than you currently are doing, then, step it up. Take steps to improve your competence. This will help your confidence.
Three: Deliberately mingle with people who lift you up. The world is full of insecure people who won’t mind eating up your confidence for breakfast. You need to constantly be around people that believe in themselves and also build you up.
Four: Talk to a coach or counselor. If you’re really struggling with this or any other self-esteem issue, then you should consider talking with a professional. We all need help from time to time, and sharing this may set you on your way to dealing with it.
When you feel like you don’t deserve what you get, you won’t push for great things. You have the potential to be awesome at the work you do.